I always like to boast about how I am a ‘Roman Girl about town’ when over there. Seen as I grew up there I like to think I am fairly ‘street-wise’ and savvy getting around and dealing with the persistent street sellers – however … even I apparently … can sometimes be conned … or was I? 😉
The midday winter sun was high and we strolled along admiring the well known circle of stones that made up the Colosseum. A man in a colourful robe approached me holding up a little rope bracelet with a carved silhouette of an elephant on a little black rock.
‘For you lady!’, he said smiling.
‘No, no thanks.’ I said smiling back apologetically but steadfast.
‘Thank you for the lovely smile, lady. You look happy!’
‘Well yes… I guess I am.’
‘You’re on holiday!’
‘Where from? I’m from South Africa.
‘Nice. My whole family came over here, but it’s tough work …..’What is your name? I am Bongani.’
‘Ah right, yes, …Danielle.’
He shook my hand and placed the bracelet in it.
‘No, I don’t want it, thank you!’
‘It’s a gift!’ he continued.
‘Ah no, it’s okay, honestly, but thank you!’
‘Please, from me, take it. I come from far. It’s my gift to you. ‘
‘I am not paying you for it.’ I say feeling bad immediately.
‘No, I don’t want money. It’s a gift! Makes me feel good and I need that!’
‘Here..take these two also for your family!’
‘I insist!’ He smiles and starts to walk away.
‘Oh look, wait! Here let me give you something…!’
Yup…. I fell hook line and sinker for it.
How? Why? Should I have not known better??
Well yes! I know this ‘trick’ but I still fell for it….
because…I kind’a wanted to! In fact … I enjoyed it!
This guy was an EXCELLENT NLP Practitioner. A true expert at his craft. I loved falling for it!
It reiterated everything I have learnt and since taught.
Can YOU spot the psychological things he did?
Let’s look at some of them…
1) He approached me at the RIGHT time. He knew instinctively I was in a good mood and that this was the most conducive time to influence me.
2) He complimented me and acknowledged my facial expression. Causing me already to feel the Law of Reciprocity tugging at me and he Mind Read me (knowing I was happy) resulting in me feeling unconsciously understood.
3) He thanked me – again setting off reciprocity bias.
4) Again he used MindReading – knowing I was on holiday – easy guess – but making me feel a connection.
5) He told me about him first, enticing me to follow suit – Pacing and Leading.
6) I ‘invested’ in him by talking back.
7) He built rapport and a connection by talking to me about himself.
8) He told me he ‘needed’ to feel good – Unconsciously I was driven to help his need plus I admired his feeling good by giving a gift. I wanted to feel good to by giving back also!
9) He over delivered – handing me even more than expected.
10) He walked away, leaving the ball in my court.
I could have just turned away. He took a chance. Maybe he has lost out on occasion.
But it was a well planned and extremely well executed gamble and to be honest I had to hand it to him! Literally!
We all use these psychological games whether we realise it or not.
It’s natural and instinctual. Sometimes it’s beneficial and sometimes it’s not!
Knowing how to use it to full advantage is extremely useful.
What could YOU do with these unbelievable skills?
I loved this impromptu lesson I received from this very expert gentleman in Rome and it was most certainly deserving of a few bob!
If you are ready to catapult your communication and influence skills to his level and more…
join me and the others at The NLP Practitioner Course in Dublin this March.
(Read some past Testimonials HERE!)
In the kind’time…keep dreaming big!
Your Mind Coach & NLP Trainer