I love you…
Okay..yes I know that’s a pretty corny title…but before you barf let me explain myself.
What is love anyhow?
Okay…over the years I have heard those 3 little words bandied about a lot, by some more freely than others. Some people hold it tight and keep it safe for that special ‘one’ and others use it more loosely. I guess, I am the latter – I like to express myself, I like to be tactile, I like to hug and kiss.I am after all half Italian.
But is this love? Does telling people you love them mean you actually do?
Well, I believe it does if that’s what you feel. Yes, you may feel that’s a cop out, but that’s what I believe! I believe love is simply a feeling, a very powerful one at that. I believe it can be felt in many capacities. For your soul mate, for your child, for your friend.
The week before this one I felt this love most strongly for a friend, a very close friend. I have carried on as usual this week, but inside my thoughts have been constantly with her. Last week my heart broke at the sad news we heard and we cried and clung to each other and allowed our grief to wash over us. I tried so hard to somehow transfer my feeling of love to her through a hug and an unspoken stare. I tried so hard to share how much my heart literally cracked open for her loss but I think her love and her loss could not allow any more feelings in at that moment.
I know I am rambling somewhat, I guess I am hoping to gain clarity myself from this tragedy by expressing my thoughts. One thing did however become clear and this is what I really want to stress.
I cannot convey to my friend how much I love her, yes it is impossible to explain this feeling. I can tell her and of course show her as best I can. Yes actions speak louder than words but I believe if you have that feeling then the actions will follow. What I WILL do also from now is to APPRECIATE her every minute I have her in my life, for if this tragedy reiterated anything or rather rammed it like a sickening punch to my gut, it is that we have to live in the moment and be grateful for the short time we have here. We have to stop and look up and appreciate what’s around us, right now!
In fact I will appreciate everyone I love in my life and at the risk of sounding extremely corny, I will also appreciate you – because I love you too. Now, I know you may disagree and say ‘oh that’s not true love‘, but with respect..who gives you the right to categorize or label what love is?
If I say I love you then I mean it. I am very, ‘what we call ‘Kinesthetic’, which means I communicate through feelings. I ‘feel’ things. Of course I understand what the stereotypical love ‘label’ is. No, I don’t want to marry you! No, I don’t necessarily want to spend my life with you..but do I love you? In my heart of hearts, I say yes – because I truly care – maybe my definition is wrong. Let the love police come and arrest me.
I don’t hug trees but I do care. I do care if you feel happy or sad. Most of all I care that you possibly are not living your life to the full. I care because I can relate to it. I care that you may believe you are not good enough. I care because I know what that feels like.
I care because I know that you can be so much more. I care because I know when you allow that love, that feeling, that emotion to come straight out of your heart, I know you can do anything you want, because that’s the true you.
I care because ..right now I feel it in my heart for you and it makes me feel unstoppable. I function at my best through this feeling. I know this is how I can serve my friend the best I can when I come from this place and I know you can also serve yourself best when you come from this.
I know that when I see other human beings carrying on about their business and I remember to see them through eyes of love and I remember that they are simply another soul just like me, trying to live their best life, that’s when I feel love, and when I feel that I feel joy. My heart is full. My vessel is full. Now I am truly alive. Now I am being authentic. From this place I am alert and appreciative. I feel gratitude and a heightened awareness…
Anyhow…that’s my ramble. Thank you for bearing with me, believe me… I’m not always this soppy. Thank you for allowing me to share with you and somehow attempt to express myself and my jumbled emotions.
Appreciate this moment and go hug a tree now….okay that’s a joke!
Go hug someone you love instead…and maybe a tree too 😉